Saturday, October 5, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Only watch this video if you're prepared to vomit a bit in your mouth.
Warning: contains the following...
1) Low budget makeup done by Miley herself. Ie. no false lashes, just clumped mascara and poorly applied lipstick that resembles the texture of screwed up Glad-Wrap.
2) One outfit supplied by Huggies. Obvi they don't make bras.
3) One outfit supplied by Miley herself - her nekked body which is so wrong to watch as she straddles a wrecking ball like some sort of redneck county fair ride. Note the varying shades of her skin ranging from white to orange. So inconsistent. Much like her music career so far.
4) Miley's veneers are out of control. They need filing down. They don't fit in her stupid mouth.
5) Repeats of the same footage of the wrecking ball breaking through a cement wall as it was only in the budget to film it once. Miley decided to spend the rest of the money on that awesome party from her last video.
Let me break this down for you.
If you're at all squeamish, look away as she fumbles over her nonsensical lyrics. Her fake veneer teeth, installed about 18 months ago, have a hard time staying in her child-gob and there's spittle aplenty.
It's EXHAUSTING work pretending to work, isn't it Miley? She's arrived on site [read: set] and is now packing heat in the form of this phallic sledge hammer. My apologies if I do not describe the utensils of a building site correctly - this is not my area of expertise. Anyway...while M-dawg takes a power nap, let's move on to the next enticing frame.
Many a gangster carries a weapon, but few rarely use it. Will Miley break the law or will she simply sexualise an inanimate object? With direction from Terry Richardson, I am certain she will do both.
As a lingerie designer, I can safely say on a professional level that Miley is in dire need of a training brassiere.
Was this video styled by Huggies or Depend? There are clues to suggest either. Her briefs are low-rise suggesting youth (Huggies), but in later frames she appears helpless and the fit looks wrinkly (Depend)
Speaking of boxes...
This part goes on for far too long and the video continually flashes back to her swinging around, both clothed and naked. I cannot determine what the message is here.
But where are her nipples? Surely they would be visible from this uncompromising angle?
The aforementioned non-existent styling and beauty budget obviously didn't include fake tan or any attention to detail. That boob is surprisingly whiter than her plastic teeth.
"Roll over, Miley. Just your legs. That's the spot. Grab that cement. Look into the lens. Awwww yeah!"
In conclusion, I have nothing to conclude.
I'll safely assume my post was not enough warning for you, and post the link to the video below. I would say enjoy, but I'm sure you won't.
Wear + Tear.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
still not over the intense detail of this place
tower of terror in the distance......shiiiiiit
waiting for a ride....in a cave
Indiana Jones ride
display case at a sushi bar in Shibuya
Samurai Girls performing outside a shopping mall
The walk from Mitaka station to the Ghibli Museum
Ginza - the expensive CBD type area of Tokyo
lots of tourists and luxury stores
View from the 12th floor of the world's largest UNIQLO store in Ginza
This whole building is the Abercrombie & Fitch store. It was disgusting and dark and stank like Lynx deodorant. We lasted about 30 seconds in there. It was pitch black - don't know how you're supposed to shop in there. It would probably be like hooking up drunk in a sleazy night club. The next day you'd take one look at what you came home with and instantly regret it.
The UNIQLO store
We accidentally stumbled upon this train bar which we intended on going to. Up on the 9th floor of a small building in Shinjuku. The man who runs it was so creepy-cute and he has hundreds of model trains that he polishes and paints and swaps over every half an hour or so.